These days, it’s not unusual to hear “they isn’t grammatically correct if you’re talking about one person”, especially from conservative crowds and the chronically-on-4chan community. So I thought I’d take time in this tangent to explain why people who hold this belief are, in so many words, dumber than a bag of rocks.
The singular “they” is not a new usage of the word in English. Its usage is well over 500 years old. The usage of the singular they was in place before modern English existed. It’s certainly not a tool of the far left extremists trying to indoctrinate your kids. The singular they is not only incredibly old, it’s incredibly common. Its primary use is for scenarios where you don’t know the gender of the subject or the gender is irrelevant. So, let’s take a look at some real-world examples, shall we?
Nobody wants to think they are unappreciated at work
In this example, the grammatical subject of the sentence is an ambiguous singular third person. The sentence is speaking about a single person, but this person can be anybody, and can be male, female, or any other identity. In this instance, the ambiguity of the individual is not intended to confuse the reader, and the use of the singular they is specifically to provide cohesion in the sentence. Imagine rewriting the sentence as “nobody wants to think he or she is unappreciated at work”. The newly formed sentence is still grammatically correct, but it 1. requires more words, and 2. requires the conjugation of the verb “to-be” to change from “are” to “is”, which can be challenging, especially to readers or writers for whom English is a second language.
Let’s take a look at another example:
Somebody left their tuna salad sandwich in the fridge over the weekend.
Here, we know that the subject of the sentence is “someone”. Someone could be anyone. They could be your cubicle neighbor who spends their time playing Candy Crush instead of working, or they could be Jim from accounting, who always makes small talk by the water cooler. The point is, nobody knows who this mysterious “somebody” is, or for that matter, why they left their stinky tuna salad sandwich in the fridge over the weekend.
Also, did you notice the usage of the singular “their” in the sentences describing the sentence? Clever wordsmithing if I do say so myself.
Let’s examine one more example, shall we?
I saw a horrible crash on my way home from work. The driver was being loaded into an ambulance. I hope they are ok. I hope their kids are okay too.
In this example, I tried to make use of both the singular and the singular-possessive form of the pronoun. The driver is unknown to me, the author and observer. As such, I could choose to use “he or she” but again, that reads as clunky and can be difficult to find the correct conjugation of the “to-be” verb, so it’s easier to say “they“. Additionally, if the author happens to notice children in the car as the driver is loading onto a stretcher, I can use the posessive form of the verb to show that the children belong to the stranger driver.
This is where the difference between they, their, they’re, and there comes into play. I know it’s commonly ignored, especially in online spaces, but here is a quick recap from middle school:
- They: pronoun, singular or plural. Indicates an individual whose identity is unknown, or a group of individuals. (They wanted to go swimming).
- Their: pronoun, singular or plural, possessive. The possessive conjugation of the pronoun “they”. (Somebody left their bag at home).
- They’re: contraction. A contraction of “They are”. (They’re going to take the bus)
- There: Adverb, adjective, pronoun, interjection. Often used to describe location, proximity, or relation to another object. Used to modify verbs or clarify sentences. (Put the book over there)
Finally, let’s address two last criticisms naysayers might have about the usage of the singular “they”.
“Do you teach English? What makes you the expert?”
Well first, I’m the son of a retired English and language arts teacher, who taught elementary school, middle school, and high school grammar, English, literature, and language arts. That has to count for something. Secondly, I am a native English speaker, I have been speaking English my entire life. And finally, I have a Bachelor of Science in Technical Communication. I’m more qualified to speak on the nuances of grammar in a technical aspect than most, so you can kindly kick rocks.
The last criticism I hear is that “a person can’t be a they, you’re either a man or a woman”, to which I say, does it really matter? Is the usage of a gender neutral pronoun so offensive to you that you refuse to use it out of basic respect for another individual? If so, I hope you receive the kindness you put out into the world, because it takes no effort on your part to be respectful to another person.
So to anyone who would object to the singular “they“, please, for the love of grammar, pick up a book. Read something for once. Go outside and touch grass. Interact with people outside your bubble. You might be surprised at what you learn.